As I was walked to work, I pondered the fact that I’m one step closer to the age of 30, one step closer to death, and needed to go buy a spanx bodyshaper because I had failed to keep up with my ab workouts. Suddenly a voice, male and vaguely Borat-like, rang out behind me:

You’re very skinny!

…I don’t know if it was meant as a compliment or not, but thank you Euro catcaller, for saying just the right thing to an old lady on her birthday.