This morning I was doing a quick shave in the shower using one of the new disposable razors I recently purchased. As I was shaving I kept smelling something weird…and coconuty. For a second I thought I was havign a stroke, but then I realized where the smell was coming from. MY RAZOR.

I picked up the package. “New! Scented Handles! Hawaiian Tropic Scented!” it read. What. the. fuck. and. why.

Why? Why would you need your razor to smell like anything? I know they’re always trying to make razors seem more advanced and amazing than they really are, and there are only so many ways you can market them, but come on. I understand women caring about how their shaving lotion smells, but this isn’t even some kind of gel on the blade that is transferred to your skin, it’s the fucking plastic handle.

And what about the choice in scent? Hawaiian Tropic? Why couldn’t they choose something that conveys that it will sooth you as you shave if they insist on making the damned razor scented? Hawaiian Tropic, really? It’s like they said “I think we should combine an obnoxiously fake coconut smell and reference an organization that has been sued for sexual harassment countless times, ladies love that.”

I’m sure these are the technological innovations people of the past envisioned. That we would not only have disposable razors, but ones that reek of eau du Beach Blanket Bingo from the 50s.

Ugh, and I bought a six-pack, too. Let me know if you need some random ass Hawaiian Tropic scent in your life.