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I’m introducing a new feature at Shaunasaurus:  Side Eye Master of the Month. The recipients of this prestigious honor have mastered my favorite expression, the side eye. The side eye is the look you give someone when you’re contemplating whether to ignore them or pop them in the head. I usually reserve it for Tea Partiers, some Libertarians, old ladies who walk too slowly in front of m, annoying people on the subway, annoying people at bars, annoying people at the bank…ok, basically everyone I come into contact with (except for you, dear reader).

Today’s master is Sherri Sheppard, of The View. She may be stupid enough to think that cavemen rode around on dinosaurs, but that hasn’t prevented her from getting her PhD in Side-eye-ology:

 

"She's lucky this ponytail is stapled on, or else we'd be tussling."

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Mamaquin said there's be days like these...

I really don’t know how this got in the tree. It’s fairly high up there. I’m thinking this may be a Real Doll domestic violence situation. I haven’t seen Andrew McCarthy around for a while. Maybe he was on the bad shit and freaked out? “You’ll never leave me Emmy! Not without your LEGS!”

Terrrorism: (n.) The act of trying to get some lazy assholes to stop using black people as free labor/sexual objects. (Definition from the Sons/Daughters of the Confederacy Dictionary of Self-Delusion, vol. 5. 2010.).

Oh, irony.

Photo from Ta-Nehisi

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a distinct problem with embarrassment.  Not being embarrassed for myself (that is another issue, so I guess saying I have problems with embarrassment is more truthful), but for others. Even in situations that I know are completely manufactured, like the plots of bad sitcoms. When watching a TV show, I’ll often flip the channel as soon as the character starts doing something that will ultimately lead to their humiliation.  As you can imagine, I don’t watch much TV these days due to the preponderance of reality shows, which were basically created to have people embarrass themselves in every episode.

Anyway, I finally discovered the word that describes this particular aspect of my craziness:

Fremdschämen – A German term which describes the process of being vicariously embarrassed by someone else. For example when somebody’s concept for a great party gag goes terrible wrong and you watch him fail in the middle of all of his friends.

Isn’t it nice being able to categorize your neuroses?!

This is a pretty great combination of songs to listen to whilst walking in the city on a rainy Friday morning: