This can be filed under “why you shouldn’t check your email when your blackberry awakens you in the middle of the night because you forgot to put it on silent.”

Dear Asshole from High School,

Why do you have my email address? We weren’t friends in high school. In fact, I wonder if we ever even spoke to each other. All I remember is that you that you reeeeeallly enjoyed being in ROTC. A lot.

I briefly accepted your friend request on facebook a couple of years ago, but eventually defriended you because you seemed kind of creepy, like a guy who logs on in the middle of the nights and faps to people’s beach vacation pictures. You re-sent a friend request which I’ve purposely never acknowledged.

Outside of this we have never interacted with each other.

So why did I get not one, but two, social network invites from you in the middle of the night? There is no reason AT ALL for you to have my email address, and even less for you to be spamming me with requests to friend you on social networking sites.

On top of that, when I clicked on the link in one of the emails to see what this was about, it automatically created an account for me and now I am getting an influx of emails from some random site, starting with one from you, of course, and the site is not allowing me to delete the account and I am too tired and pissed off to figure it out right now.

I wonder how many unsuspecting people got signed up for that site against their will tonight.

You. Are. A. Creep.

Update: I Googled this dude’s email address and this is the only thing that showed up:

Classy

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