I haven’t posted for a while, buti”ll give you a quick update of what’s been up with me for the past two weeks.

  • I went yuppy camping, and it was really fun. We hiked, cooked over an open camp fire, and communed with Nature. I also learned that, in the middle of the night, frolicking chipmunks sound remarkably like a crazed maniac stomping through the underbrush and headed right for your tent with a sharpened machete.
  • The next weekend we went to Cape Cod to visit Zack and Nick. Getting there was disastrous, but we had an awesome day on the beach drinking beer, playing bocce ball, peeing in the frigid ocean, and making fun of French tourists. This was followed by a seafood feast prepared by Chef Nick. Unfortunately, Randy’s feet got sunburnt beyond recognition and walking around the next day was a Little Mermaid-type hell for him. Never forget to put sunblock on your feet people! Speaking of hell, the brunch spot we chose declined to tell us that we would be blessed with the stylings of Bongo Boy and the Hot Memaw Choir, as they were having a gospel brunch. GOSPEL CHOIR. BONGO. We booked it out of there.
  • I turned 28. Someone broke my kitchen table. I got trashed and threw up all over Randy (I think). I guess we can cross that off of our Kink Bucket List. It was not as good for him as it was for me because I got to have my memory erased by tequila shots and he didn’t.

Hopefully, I’ll be posting more soon. Until then, I’ll leave you with this: